Meet Dave
“There are no mistakes, just happy little accidents.” - Bob Ross
While I can’t say I fall into the camp that says, “truth is relative,” I do believe that what works for one person often may not for another. If you’ve poked around my site, you may have noticed I mention my dislike for the copy-and-paste approach, which implies this journey you are about to go through will be much like having a blank canvas to paint on rather than a coloring book page. Together, we will fill in the lines and decide where the trees should go, how to shade in the darker areas near the water’s edge, and anything else we want to add. The good news is that if you started with a beach scene but wanted mountains, we can always paint over it or get a new canvas!
Life is much like an art project.
We have this great idea of how we want it to look, and then we have the reality of where we are. The therapy you will receive from me will be the bridge that gets you to that place you imagine for yourself and know you were created to realize. The great thing about both art and life is that much of the time there is no such thing as “perfect.” As we figure out together what you want your life to look like, it’s common to become frustrated because you aren’t an expert at this stuff. Giving yourself permission to be imperfect, try new things and fail at them is all part of being human. When many of us were children, we did such a great job of just being who we are without criticism… as adults, in our current culture especially, we forget how to remove judgement. We forgot how to play.
Finding your True North:
“We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing.”
I find it most common for people seeking therapy to come only after they have tried on their own many times and failed. Often, they didn’t have the best tools for the job or simply weren’t trained on how to use them. Could you imagine trying to paint like Bob Ross with only colored chalk and a sidewalk?! And then getting mad at yourself because it didn’t turn out like his work? That’s kind of what it’s like when we get married and were never trained how to communicate well or to manage conflict with someone that’s usually very different from you and how you grew up.
“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second-best time is today.”
For couples, the best time for therapy is the moment you notice a consistent disconnection. Getting started is the hardest part, honestly! Imagine back to that blank canvas you have and now trying to just make a beautiful picture of a bridge happen. Even for experts that can be hard, so cut yourself some slack and be willing to admit when you could use a hand. Once you get moving, things really change. As you build momentum, you gain confidence in your skills we will practice in therapy. Using them in session and at home will allow you to experience newfound assertiveness and boldness to not only keep trying when things don’t work out exactly as planned, but also to try new things when the same old stuff isn’t cutting it. You found me to add momentum, direction, and accountability to your journey. That’s where the name True North Vitality comes in;) If making change was easy to do on your own, you would have done it already! Let me add my energy and expertise to your desire for change; together, we will paint a beautiful portrait of a very fulfilled life!
I love chocolate milkshakes, hunting and moonlit walks on the beach… but I digress.
In spring of 2022, I finally got certified to offer Equine Assisted Therapy!
Seriously though, I’ve been in the helping profession since 2008 and have worked in nearly every capacity there is – in schools, hospitals, in people’s homes, in churches, and so on. I never was much for school, my grades were quite poor, to say the least, in high school. Then when I met my wife and decided I’d go ahead and care about graduating, I ended my teen years with a 3.5. Not too shabby from the 1.14 I had in 11th grade;). This trend continued, and I figured if I was going to have a successful marriage, I should probably get a decent job. I knew that I wanted to help people, make decent money, and be quick about it: nursing school here I came! After realizing I couldn’t even prick my own finger to run a centrifuge and there was, indeed, math involved in that profession, Social Work here I came!
I transferred to Seton Hill University and despite some unfortunate setbacks (more on that later), I graduated in 2009 with a 3.75. After a year of peace and thoroughly enjoyable work at a residential treatment facility for teen boys, I heard the call of graduate school in the distance, and Waynesburg University here I came! I enrolled in the mental health counseling program and without giving the blow-by-blow eventually became licensed and have been working in an outpatient setting since 2014!
My parents divorced when I was 5, and I often find myself wondering, “What if they had seen a marriage therapist? Would they still be together? How totally different would all of us have become if useful help had been sought?” Who knows? Maybe the same outcome would have taken place, but that’s just it. We will never know because time travel doesn’t exist, and we only get one shot at this. So, my becoming a therapist has a good bit to do with the natural God-given talents I’ve been blessed with, but also my history of firsthand experience where not all the potential resources had been used to turn around a very preventable disease in their relationship. Therefore, it is my strong desire to offer the highest caliber of therapy to everyone who comes through my door, whether you are seeking couples work or just have some of your own stuff to unpack.
I’ll get out the paints if you are ready to do the work…new and improved life here you come!
“When you find yourself out on a limb, unsupported by life, return to the root and let the old branches be trimmed.”
- Jeannie Zandi