How to achieve a healthy work-life balance

Jun 20

As a self-employed therapist, I know that I cannot fill from an empty cup. It’s imperative to maintain habits that allow me to work and play well. It is a learned skill that much of our culture does not have. (I am always looking for fellow therapists who have honed and developed a healthy work-life balance because they offer better quality therapy!)

Counselors experience life and stressors just like anyone else, but I cannot enter into a therapy session on an empty tank. Not only would it be unfair for my clients, but it would quickly result in serious burnout for me.

Burnout is a state of chronic exhaustion as a result of ineffective management of stress.

The very last thing anyone needs is a helping professional who is inadvertently bringing his or her garbage and stressors into the session. Burnout does not mean that you are a failure or destined to feel like a basket-case forever–it’s just your body’s way of informing you that you need to make a change. If your chronic exhaustion is in relation to the way you are balancing work and life, how can you tell?

Here are some indicators of an unhealthy work-life balance that will lead to burnout:

You have trouble ‘shutting down’ and tend to ruminate about work constantly when you’re home.
You are a people-pleaser and often say ‘yes’ to work tasks, even when you’re feeling overwhelmed.
You have poor boundaries with time management and are often feeling rushed, late or constantly busy.
It’s easier for you to say ‘no’ to yourself or your family than it is to say ‘no’ to your work or employer.
You prioritize extra work due to poor financial budgeting or scarcity mentality
Your relationships are suffering. This could show up as conflict with a boss, coworkers or feelings of disconnect with loved ones and friends.
You rarely feel fully present or at ease.

When work-life balance is out of whack, we are in fight-or-flight mode all the time and the sympathetic nervous system is on overdrive. This means that we are creating a cycle of stress hormones in our body and will have trouble accessing the ‘rest and digest’ parasympathetic nervous system. Long-term, this leads to all sorts of mental and physical health issues. So what can we do?

Here are a few tips to re-calibrate your work-life balance:

Think ahead. It’s easy to over-commit to tasks or activities weeks ahead of time that don’t affect you right now. Take the time to really evaluate how your schedule will feel when the day comes. Look at the days before and after. Try to carve out windows for breaks, walks, and time to transition between work and home.
Commit to end work at a specific time. Set timers, shut down devices, or schedule leisure time afterward to make sure that you stick to ending your day on time. Especially if you work from home, it will constantly spill over into your personal time if you allow it.
Be intentional with time off. We all need intentional sabbath time, vacations, mental health days or sick days. If you are continually ‘on’ or just vegging during time off, you will never reach your full potential at work, nor will you feel refreshed when you do have time off.
Practice mindfulness. This point is directly related to the last. You need to be able to pay full attention to your thoughts, signals and sensations within your body, as well as external stimuli to be able to evaluate your needs day-to-day.
Stay flexible. A healthy work-life balance needs to allow for unexpected illness, stressors or crises both in and out of the workplace. What you do in the unplanned scenarios will make or break your mental state. Allow as much cushion as possible so that you have the wiggle room when you need it.

Regardless of what you do for work, you truly cannot fill from an empty cup. If your work-life ratio is imbalanced, your coworkers, clients, loved ones and friends will all suffer.

If you’re struggling or constantly feeling fried, contact us for more personalized help and suggestions for your situation.

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