How to get the most out of your therapy session
Talk therapy is SO much more than just talking.
Good therapy is not designed to be a place where you come to simply complain and vent every week and then go home and keep doing exactly what you’ve already been doing. Why pay for therapy week after week unless you’re receiving real benefit? And without intention, how can you even tell if you’re making progress? (Also: how utterly draining it would be as a therapist to never see growth or change!)
I’ve compiled a simple list for success when it comes to the therapeutic process. Here’s how to get the most out of your therapy sessions:
PLAN AHEAD.
Whenever reasonable, it’s helpful to think about your session prior to the actual session. My lovely wife is famous for posing the question, “what do you want to talk about today?” in the car on our way to a couples therapy session. ;) While you may not always have the opportunity to discuss content with your spouse prior to a couples session, at least consider for yourself what may be useful at other times throughout the week.
PROCESS IN SESSION.
Did your therapist just say something that made you feel furious? Did your partner just use that tone that makes you cringe? Are you not getting what you’d hoped from your counseling sessions? One of the biggest mistakes you could make towards your own therapeutic process is ignoring a trigger in the moment or not speaking up when you’d like something to change. Don’t waste your own time!
HAVE A GOAL.
Your therapist can help you hash this out, but it’s wonderful to have a plan together with measurable goals. Long-term therapy doesn’t always include a checklist of achievements, but make sure your sessions aren’t feeling completely aimless or disconnected.
DO THE WORK.
Yes, some sessions in the office can be hard work. But most of the actual work is (or needs to be) happening in your real life. Whether you need some sort of accountability partner, post-it notes, homework or action steps to complete each week, don’t allow yourself to get lazy with the growing pains and then wonder why you feel the same.
REFLECT.
Similar to the first suggestion to ‘plan ahead,’ reflect on your sessions when you can. Make note of any helpful tidbits you may have gleaned, journal about the experience or chat with a loved one. Reflecting can help you further process emotions and absorb any new thoughts or patterns you are working towards.
If you’re new to therapy or haven’t jumped in yet, be sure to check out What Makes a Good Therapy Session and First Therapy Experience so you know what to expect!
