What makes a good therapy session?
Spoiler Alert: it’s not just a ‘good therapist.’
Whether you’re new to the therapeutic process or not, knowing how to utilize and evaluate your therapy sessions is very worthwhile knowledge. You and your therapist are both bringing different things to the table and investing into your time together, so you ought to know what to look for and how you can make the most of each session. Just like in any other profession, there are good therapists and poor ones, creative ones and lazy ones, good fits and bad fits. The same goes for clients! Some are actually willing to do the work and will see change as a result, while others just want to talk once a week and stay trapped in their comfort zones.
Check out our guidelines below to evaluate your sessions and learn how to get the most out of your time!
Staying Focused
An experienced therapist will know how and when to redirect the conversation if you become lost in the weeds of ‘venting’ or rambling about irrelevant details. Of course it is sometimes necessary to share details about other people in your life, but your therapist should be helping you manage your time in a useful way to make the sessions mostly about you and for you. If every session is just becoming Story Time, you won’t be making any changes.
2. Honesty + Vulnerability
These are two imperative qualities that you must bring to the table if you want to receive any real or lasting benefit from your therapy. It takes time to build trust and feel comfortable with a new therapist and that time-frame and process looks different for everyone. You must at least be willing to ‘go there’ with whatever thoughts or emotions come up for you. Therapy is not the time to hold back or sugarcoat.
3. Organization
Organization does not mean that you need to find a therapist with a perfectly organized desk or polished office space. Those things do not effect the quality of therapy. But an organized session should run like a well-oiled machine and is actually a huge indicator about how your therapist handles his or her own boundaries. (For so many reasons, I assure you: you absolutely NEED a therapist with clear boundaries.) If you find that your therapist cannot manage their own time or schedule with other sessions constantly running over, or consistently wasting session time with administrative tasks, it is a big red flag. If your therapist can’t manage his or her own boundaries, don’t expect to improve on your own boundaries!
4. Connection with your therapist
Temperament, energy level, sense of humor and personality all come in to play as you get to know a brand new therapist. Developing a comfortable relationship can take time, but your first impression (even with an initial phone consult) matters. Give it at least 3-5 sessions, but trust your gut and find someone else if you’re not getting the right vibe that you need.
5. You feel challenged
Finding a therapist that suits you well does NOT mean that your sessions should always feel comfortable or easy. In fact, if you find that your therapist is regularly just listening, commiserating or agreeing with you, it’s likely that you’ve found yourself a lazy therapist. The ability to hold space confidently and counsel well means that your therapist is questioning you, pushing you and challenging you to grow. Change and progress will not occur in your comfort zone.
6. Uncovering themes + patterns
Your therapist should be able to help you notice repetitive themes and patterns within your thoughts, speech, communication, relationships or circumstances. These are often subconscious cycles that you are not noticing on your own, but when brought to light can be real ‘A-HA’ moments for you! Tools like Splankna and EMDR can really fast-track awareness and healing of repetitive themes.
7. Working outside of the session
The biggest and most important aspect of any successful therapy session is actually YOU and your willingness to work outside of the session. You could have the absolute best of the best top-notch therapist with decades of experience and specialties out the wazoo but if you’re not willing to take action steps and integrate suggestions, then everyone is wasting their time. Showing up to therapy is great, but it means nothing if that’s really all you’re willing to invest into your healing. Working outside of the session will be messy, hard and often painful but THAT is where the real change happens and those challenges are what you should be bringing to your next session.
If you’re not getting the most out of your therapeutic process, consider if there are steps you could be integrating or if there are needs you could be addressing with your therapist. As always, feel free to contact me with questions or reach out for a free consult.
Are YOU a great therapist looking for a workplace to call home?
Here at True North Vitality, we are always seeking motivated, mature and Christ-centered counselors to compliment our growing team.
Mediocre therapists are a dime-a-dozen. Do you see yourself as set apart in the field of counseling? Are you looking for a workplace that will feed your soul as well as your professional growth?
Please read our Career Opportunities page and fill out our contact form to start the process.
