Blog
Confronting Your Triggers
Imagine a scenario in which you feel emotionally challenged, irritated or “triggered” in some way. Perhaps someone has said something you inherently disagree with, something you perceive as untrue, disrespectful or immature. How do you handle it? What is the way you typically respond? And what if your response doesn’t elicit the reply you were hoping for? And furthermore, what if the person irritating you is…your therapist!? (GASP!)
Boundaries during the holiday season
Its that time of year again, New Hallothanksmas, aka Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New years. Although for many this time of year is exciting and an opportunity to live out past times and traditions with people you love. For man, this span of 3 ½ months is has an extra layer of tension. Questions like “Will my in-laws speak negatively of me if we decide to stay home this year for Christmas?” or “What if I can’t afford to get everyone that matters to me a gift and have to prioritize...” begin to swirl around in our minds, effectively taking away the peace that we should rightfully own this time of year.
What to do when your spouse doesn’t want therapy
When things aren’t going well in your relationship, it’s already a very isolating and lonely feeling. If your spouse or partner isn’t willing or committed to try counseling, it can feel even more lonely and frustrating.
While you obviously cannot control and should not manipulate your partner into therapy, there are sometimes a few suggestions that may help.
What makes a good therapy session?
Spoiler Alert: it’s not just a ‘good therapist.’
Whether you’re new to the therapeutic process or not, knowing how to utilize and evaluate your therapy sessions is very worthwhile knowledge. You and your therapist are both bringing different things to the table and investing into your time together, so you ought to know what to look for and how you can make the most of each session. Just like in any other profession, there are good therapists and poor ones, creative ones and lazy ones, good fits and bad fits. The same goes for clients! Some are actually willing to do the work and will see change as a result, while others just want to talk once a week and stay trapped in their comfort zones.
Why “Trying Harder” Doesn’t Work
“So I'm using the word infrastructure to make the point that if you have NEVER had a successful conversation with your partner where you felt heard, got your point across to where it was at least accepted if not agreed with, and did the same for your partner, then you have not actually been having a dialogue at all. You have been having two separate monologues and expecting the impossible…”
How to Interrupt the Pattern on Repetitive Arguments
You know what types of arguments or disagreements you and your partner have on a regular basis. You can almost see the storm brewing a mile away once it starts to play out (again), but it seems inevitable. It can leave you both feeling shutdown and hopeless. What do you do when your ingrained ‘differences in perspective’ lead to an all out thrown down fight? And even more so: what can you do when that argument is on repeat in your relationship?
